Day 29 — the one on reasons

“Reasons” Mimi Webb

This piece was written listening to a song, in case you want to sip it the same way, here is the link to Spotify and this is of course a complete personal interpretation of the song.

When I’m in the presence of someone who doesn’t make me feel judged or misinterpreted, it’s like finding an oasis. They are giving me the chance to explain myself from the start. And only when listening to you it’s when they start painting the white canvas you’re letting them see.

I would want to learn from that. When and how did they learn to do that?

You got secrets in your eyes

I feel seen, like a new exciting person that can fulfill them. And that person makes me feel like I can do things differently and that I’m only the best part of myself in front of them. It’s similar to having company in the deepest parts of my mind.

So I guess somehow in the company of those who don’t or can’t see you, those are the lonely moments.

Cause everybody else just make me feel alone

Like I was never there

Oh I hated everyone til you I swear

Those are the moments that don’t matter if you’re there or not. The thing is, that that’s how they are probably feeling as well. The same way lonely on their end.

And therefore the disengagement.

We all make someone else feel less alone but it’s not really our choice who. It’s dual. It depends on someone else than ourselves. That’s the magic of it.

Before I thought I could be agreeable with everyone at all times, I thought that there are people who can do it. But it’s not true. I don’t think there’s someone who can connect in such level with every person you cross by. And thinking that everyone will somehow understand how I think, how I behave, why I do things, and connect with me, it’s plainly ridiculous.

What I see around it’s that we are concerned about mental health, and somehow blaming everyone around who was not treating us the way we wanted.

It might get better though when we acknowledge that we cannot be in control of every human relationship. Either with your bus driver, with the car driver in front of you, with the classmate we can’t stand, with the colleague who drives us nuts, etc… They are a whole world, of which its center is not us.

The anxiety or stress are coming either from thinking that someone should treat us like we expect them to. Or coming from trying to control to hard the reactions in people and finding out we can’t.

We live our life’s and that’s it. They live it and that’s it.

We’re just people make of broken pieces

Nobody is perfect as they say, nobody is perfect as they wish, nobody is trying to diminish you and nobody is whole, everyone has their cracks.

And as much offended as we want to behave, our problem is not their problem. We can carry on with life, it’s not like the world owes us something.

With some songs, I feel that the moment and the circumstances create the best set for a personal concert. Every time they bring me a better understanding of myself or of the world so I want to remember that.